Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Rules for Driving in Lexington

  1. be prepared to stop at least 50 times, because none of the stop lights are timed to help traffic flow
  2. nobody is to use turn signals...ever
  3. watch out for flying cigarette ash from drivers in front of you flicking their cigs unto the road
  4. construction may take weeks, so be prepared to drive on half completed roads
  5. driving should happen at 5 mph below the speed limit
  6. making a right turn from the left lane is acceptable
  7. patience is unacceptible
  8. all cars must be outfitted with a Jesus Fish
  9. cutting in front of larger vechiles is perfectly acceptible
  10. rain, sleet, snow, and ice (or the forecast of) are perfect reasons to go 13 mph...even when the skies are clear

3 comments:

dan said...

a couple of extra rules:

11 the left lane is the best place do drive slowly

12 when you change lanes it is appropriate to jam on your brakes regardless of whether or not anbody is behind you in your new lane

13 1 police car per 100 yards is the right amount

14

dan said...

14 regardless of it's direction, speed, or if it has it's lights and sirens on please ignore all emergency vehicles.

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